Being a wife and a mother has changed so many things about me. But one of the biggest changes that has come is the ability to put my needs and others feelings second to my husband and to my son. In the long run nothing seems to be as important as the well being of my husband and my son. But that's a tricky line to tread sometimes with family. Can a relative cause enough damage through their actions to be cut out of your life? I found myself faced with that question today.
The fact that I'm in a 'bi-racial' marriage has never really been a thought to me. I am in a marriage with an amazing man who treats me like a goddess. What does the color of his skin or the shape of his eyes have to with how he treats me? And I certainly never thought about the fact that my son is 'bi-racial'. But today I had to face the fact that, although I may not think about those things, other people do.
There were several options in dealing with this situation. I could go on pretending it wasn't an issue and ignore the horrible treatment that my husband receives, knowing that one day that treatment will fall upon my son. In choosing this option what is the lesson I am teaching my son? That it's okay for others to treat you like less of a person than others around you simply because of your skin? Or I could choose to cut such people out of our lives. Wow, the second choice seems so harsh. But the world is so hard.... there are so many things to fight against. Do I really want someone in my son's life or my husbands that makes them feel of less value? The answer I came to was no, I don't.
Life constantly changes around us and sometimes we change with it or we don't. I have changed tremendously through the years. And for me I have changed into a person I can be proud of. My goal is for my son to have that same feeling of pride in being who he is and his ability to succeed. And the first step in doing that is to surround him with people who love him and support him for who he is and will be.
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6 comments:
Dang it, I knew I shouldn't have made all those racial slurs...ok, I hope you know I am joking, especially being from a biracial marriage. Oh Cass, I feel for you right now, what a struggle to go through. I hope it works out and I will be thinking about you. luv erin
Cass and Jay;
I can't believe that you havve been put in such a horrible situation; one that can have such a long-lasting negative impact on both of you and your family. I admire your strength of values and your certainty of all that is important in your life. Don't accept people in yoor lives that cannot accept others as freely. Stand together strong, knowing that your families that love and care for you both will always continue to do so. You are my hero!
Love to you all, and Gus.
Oh YEah!! I know all about that. As you well know, my dad is mexican, and my mom is white. Therefore making me half-mexican, and putting me right smack in the middle of all the racial jokes about mexicans. Eck...I hate it when people tell them, but what can you do. If you teach Kai to be confident in himself, he won't let other people dictate the way that he feels about himself. Of course it will hurt feeling as he's learning his way, but with an open dialog, you can help guide him through those feelings and situations. In the end, you can't be devastated over a comment said by someone so ignorant. If doesn't hurt so bad when it comes from the type of person you can't respect.
You know me, being half Japanese and half white has put me in positions sometimes where it was uncomfortable. People are not always so nice and they judge you without even really knowing you. sadly, that is the way things work and probably will be. My mom(Japanese) has been the biggest example in my life in dealing with people like that. She has always taught me that the "white" people need us to teach them how we want to be treated. If we are not there to do so, they will never learn. And I totally agree. Although it is hard to deal with these types of people, someone has to teach them so they will learn how to treat us. Anyway, that's my little tid-bit. We continue to face trials, but I always remember that we are freakin' cool so no one can mess with us! ha..ha..ha...We love ya girl!
call me and fill me in on who your talking about love captain kirk
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